dissonance

[isthisart]

Dr. Cheung's at a funeral all day, so Linya decides to go up to London and see if Miles is out of his Mood.

Security has decided to be deeply unhelpful today. She is currently showing them various forms of ID and repeating in a slow, patient voice that she has been here before, there is not more than one of her, and she promises she is not there to assassinate her husband or whatever fool thing has them skittish today. Perhaps she shouldn't drop in while the captain's missing; it seems to make them worse. But she got in before while he was missing...

Comments

[middlingalong]

"Is that what Cheung does?"

[thisvorlunatic]

"I told you, I'm not sure."

[middlingalong]

"Maybe I'll ask her. Sometime when I've got half an hour to kill waiting for her to be done answering me."

[thisvorlunatic]

"She's not that long-winded, is she? Or is my time perception skewed on the subject?"

[middlingalong]

"Your time perception is absolutely untrustworthy. She'd let me go but only after rolling her eyes, probably - you go on about her without seeming to notice as the sun rises and sets six times comically in the background -"

[thisvorlunatic]

He cracks up at that.

[middlingalong]

"But at least you're happy -"

The door to their workroom opens. There are some local police.

"We have," one of them says, "a detention order for Miles Vorkosigan. Please come with us, sir."

[thisvorlunatic]

"Yeah? Do you have it signed by the Emperor of Barrayar?" says 'Miles Vorkosigan', rather pointedly.

[alicornucopia]

"We don't need it to be," says the police officer. "All the detention order means is that you can't leave London. You are free to not leave London here, but then you can't answer the subopena and let the municipal bench find whether there is sufficient evidence to charge you."

[thisvorlunatic]

"...Charge me with what?"

[middlingalong]

"Conspiracy to commit murder of one Admiral Miles Naismith."

Ivan doesn't say anything incriminating, but he blinks with sufficient bewilderment to prompt further explanation: "Via the hijacking of a float-truck at the shuttleport last week."

[thisvorlunatic]

"Oh my God," mutters Miles. "Hell... fine. Ivan, if I'm not back by this afternoon, use your initiative. I am not missing my ship back to Barrayar tonight. I've been screwing around on this planet for long enough."

He gets out of his chair and allows the policemen to escort him out.

[middlingalong]

Which makes it a very confused Ivan who encounters Miles and Galeni when they return to the embassy.

[thisvorlunatic]

"Ivan!" says Miles, looking like seven kinds of absolute hell and sporting four days' beard growth he didn't have two hours ago. "We've come to arrest me. Where was I last seen?"

[middlingalong]

"Er, getting arrested," says Ivan. "For trying to assassinate yourself. What."

[thisvorlunatic]

"Okay, you first. Explain whatever happened to me as though I wasn't there, because in fact I wasn't."

[middlingalong]

"Some police officers came in and said they had a detention order for you and you asked if it'd been signed by the Emperor of Barrayar and they said they didn't need it to be you just had to not leave London until you came to see the municipal bench about ascertaining if there was enough evidence to lay charges and you went off with them and Miles what the hell?"

[thisvorlunatic]

"You remember that kidnapping attempt that you said was a trap and I said I knew that and wanted to find out what kind? Well, it turns out the trap was an actual clone substitution plot, and for the past four days you've been talking to the substituted clone. By all accounts he does a just about flawless me. Which means now I probably have to worry about him breaking out of wherever the locals have put him, unless he's talked his way out by now, so our next stop should be the Assizes, as soon as I've showered, shaved, and changed."

[middlingalong]

"Maybe don't shave. He does a flawless you."

[thisvorlunatic]

Miles makes a face. "Ugh. Point. But if you ever find yourself confused, try getting the object of your confusion to sit still for a medical scan - his bones are normal, no weakness, no old breaks. Although the terrifying asshole who raised him did pointlessly replace his leg bones with synthetics after I got mine done, so don't waste your time looking for that tell."

[middlingalong]

"And now we're going to - arrest him ourselves, after proving that you didn't try to assassinate yourself how exactly? Even if you show up as Naismith and say it's your personal opinion he didn't send the assassins..."

[thisvorlunatic]

"Naismith my way through it, obviously. Apply whatever combination of charm and lies they require before they'll let him go. If they are not susceptible to charm and lies, improvise."

[middlingalong]

"Right. Of course. I'll... go tell the ambassador?"

[thisvorlunatic]

"If you must."

[middlingalong]

Ivan must, apparently. Off he scurries.